What if the foundation of truly loving others starts with learning to love yourself first? In yoga philosophy, the "Niyamas", or “observances,” offer a profound roadmap for cultivating self-love and self-care. Though traditionally considered the second foundation of the "Eight Limbs of Yoga", I believe they deserve to come first. As Louise Hay wisely said:

"It all starts with loving yourself."

Louise Hay’s teachings beautifully align with yogic wisdom. She explains how self-love can bring harmony to every area of our lives—relationships, careers, health, and even our environments. The Niyamas echo this sentiment: by nurturing ourselves, we lay the groundwork for extending compassion to others, as described in the "Yamas". Like a lotus rising from the mud, love for others blooms from deep self-acceptance.

Why Is Self-Love Such a Challenge?

It’s ironic, isn’t it? We cheer for our friends but criticize ourselves. When a friend is hurting or doubting themselves, we’re quick to remind them of their brilliance. Yet, when it’s our turn, thoughts like these often creep in:

- "I’m not good enough.”

- “Why would they choose me?”

- “I’ll never measure up.”

This inner critic convinces us that kindness must be earned. But the truth is, self-love isn’t a reward—it’s a birthright. You deserve compassion simply because you exist.

Using the Niyamas to Embrace Self-Love

The "Niyamas" provide five simple but transformative practices to shift from self-criticism to self-compassion. Here’s how they can enhance your yoga practice and daily life:

1. Saucha (Purity): Clear the Clutter

Saucha encourages us to clean our inner and outer worlds—not to seek perfection, but to create space for positivity and self-love.

- Reflection: What self-critical thought can I let go of today?

- Practice Tip: When negative self-talk arises, gently challenge it. Ask yourself, "Is this thought true? Is it helpful?" Replace negative thoughts with more compassionate and realistic ones. Be your own BEST FRIEND.

2. Santosha (Contentment): Find Joy in the Present

Santosha reminds us to embrace the present moment rather than seeking fulfillment through external achievements or validation.

- Reflection:What about myself can I appreciate right now?

- Practice Tip: Start a gratitude journal. Write down three things you love about yourself or your life every day. Focus on the things you are grateful for. This shifts your attention away from negativity and cultivates a positive mindset.

3. Tapas (Self-Discipline): Commit to Your Needs

Tapas is about developing habits that nurture and strengthen your body, mind, and spirit. This self-discipline builds resilience and respect for yourself.

- Reflection: What small, positive habit can I commit to this week?

- Practice Tip: Begin with something simple, like 10 minutes of yoga practice or mindfulness each day. Make it a habit to go out for a 10 minutes nature walk everyday. Celebrate even the smallest progress.

4. Svadhyaya (Self-Study): Get to Know Yourself

Svadhyaya invites you to explore your thoughts and patterns without judgment. By observing yourself with curiosity, you can deepen self-awareness and let go of limiting beliefs.

- Reflection: What patterns are holding me back from embracing self-love?

- Practice Tip: Dedicate time each day to journaling your thoughts and feelings. With time, self-awareness can replace self-criticism. (Blogging about journey is my Svadhyaya)

5. Ishvara Pranidhana (Surrender): Trust the Process

Ishvara Pranidhana invites us to release the grip of perfectionism and trust in our inherent worthiness. This practice is about surrendering control and embracing the journey as it unfolds, knowing that growth happens at its own pace.

- Reflection: How can I let go of unrealistic expectations for myself?

- Practice Tip: When self-doubt arises, pause and affirm, “I trust myself and my journey.” Remind yourself that progress, no matter how slow, is still progress.

A Personal Struggle with Surrender

For me, surrendering has been—and continues to be—the hardest of all the Niyamas. It feels like the Buddha’s teaching of non-attachment, which challenges my ego deeply. My ego thrives on chaos, for it is in chaos that it finds a sense of identity and purpose. My ego wants to dominate me and be the boss, always. But self-awareness is a powerful tool.

Recognizing the ego’s tendencies and separating my higher self from my ego has been transformative. When my ego takes over, I consciously remind myself:

- “I am not my ego, and my ego is not me. I am the vastness of the sky, the stillness of the mountain, the boundless compassion that resides within.”

Bonus tip: Treat your ego like a third person—observe it, talk to it, and lovingly detach. This practice helps you step into your true self, the part of you that is free, whole, and at peace.

By surrendering to the process, you free yourself from the burden of needing to “be perfect” and open the door to a deeper sense of trust and authenticity. Surrender isn’t about giving up—it’s about letting go of what no longer serves you.

OM Shanti!

-The Self-Loving Warrior

References:

- Swami Sivananda The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: The Path of Yoga

- Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life.